Lisa Carnley is managing editor of the Lampasas Dispatch Record. Even though I don’t cook much, I love to watch cooking shows on television. One of my favorites is “Top Chef.”

The chefs’ personalities (or lack thereof, in some cases) astound me. They can be so cutthroat.

When money is involved, and there is a lot of it on that show, I come to understand more why they act the way they do. Money is important to them, I suppose. But I would hope that no amount of money would make me act like some of the contestants do.

And what makes the judges any more of an authority than anyone else? I hear terms like “expert palates” and “experienced chefs” bandied about, but why is their palate more expert than anyone else’s?

The chefs’ ideas of culinary treats are sure not mine. In fact, I haven’t heard of many of the ingredients, and I am quite sure they won’t be found on grocery shelves in Lampasas stores.

And the cooking methods -- where did those come from, and what do they mean?

I can’t even pronounce the names of many dishes they produce, and if I don’t know what’s in it, I’m sure not going to eat it.

Take one of the recent winning recipes: clam ceviche with citron vinegar. What is ceviche, and why do they want to pour citron on it? For that matter, what is citron? I can’t even figure out how to open a clam, let alone ceviche it.

Here’s another: arctic char with smokey caper sauce and car-car orange. Huh? What is a char, and why would anyone smoke it? Carcar orange? What corner of the world does that come from?

Top chefs toss around words like Yuzu vinaigrette, confit, rillettes, pate’, aioli and pernod. I wouldn’t know what to do with a single one of them.

Also, how do you deglaze, emulsify, shuck, or reduce anything edible, and is it still edible after you do those things to it?

What is xantham gum or fennel bulb? And what is a demi-sphere mold?

I watch the judges digging in to the dishes, and they either love them or hate them; there never seems to be any in-between.

Meanwhile, I am wondering how they can put those things into their mouths without ever having tasted it before in one of the challenges that involve exotic ingredients.

I am strangely fascinated by watching the chefs plan their flamboyant courses, and a lot of the time I find myself horrified by the ingredients they use to make them.

Why do I watch the show when much of the time I’ve never even heard of these culinary dishes? I’m not sure I know. I just know it’s hard to turn the television off.

I do know I will always be a “Top Chef” viewer rather than a recipe sampler.

After all, my idea of gourmet cooking is to put ketchup on my macaroni and cheese or scrambled eggs.