Lisa Carnley is managing editor of the Lampasas Dispatch Record. Do you ever notice how the smartest people are the ones who seem to do the most senseless things? It’s as if their brains are wired for either intelligence or common sense -- but not both.

My dad is a good example. He is one of the smartest men I know. It’s true. And his head holds some of the most useless tidbits of information that he doesn’t mind sharing with anyone who will listen -- willingly or not.

But sometimes, he opens his mouth before his brain engages.

Take the time we were living in California. My dad loves Mexican food; he lives for good Mexican food. In fact, when he comes to visit in Lampasas, the Brooklyn, N.Y., native has to indulge several times.

While in California a number of years ago, our family of six visited a fast-food Mexican restaurant. You know the kind: They use “sporks” -- a spoon/ fork combination -- throw-away containers of sour cream and little foil packages of hot sauce.

That’s where he got into trouble. My dad generally talks when he is eating (or sleeping, or working, or watching TV, or cutting the lawn, or ... well, you get the picture). And when he’s talking during any of those activities, he’s not paying much attention to what’s happening at the end of his arms.

He opened his paper taco wrapper and then attempted to squirt out the spicy taco sauce (while still talking, I’m sure) but to no avail. Those packages can be so stubborn. What’s a man to do?

Well, hopefully, not what he did.

Dad proceeded to take the little packet between his teeth and bite off a corner. When he did that, though, he forgot to stop talking (thereby having no control over his hands), and squeezed the packet at the same time he was attempting to tear the top off with his teeth.

That caused the contents of the hot sauce to squirt up his nose while he was chewing off the foil top.

Well, I think that stopped the talking ... and it started the screaming.

Dad was howling like a kid with his hand caught in the door. His eyes welled up with tears, his nose began to run, and his face turned beet-red. It was obvious he was in pain. But, gosh, it was funny.

And you know what? It didn’t take him long to start talking again. He shared a few choice words with those of us who couldn’t hold back the laughter.

Though Dad continues to talk during every conceivable (and inconceivable) situation, he never talked again while opening his taco sauce packet.

And I think now he uses the kind that comes from a jar. Maybe he does have a little bit of common sense after all.