The right to marry

I was hesitant to submit this letter for a few reasons. One: While I love my hometown of Lampasas, I realize and accept that sulphur isn't the only element present in its natural springs; social conservatism, for the most part, is also in the groundwater of our county and much of our state. I don't write that in a resenting tone but matter-of-factly. What I have to say won't magically change the heart and mind of my community as a whole.

Two: I'm not particularly excited about fueling the marriage debate further, as the deep-rooted passions existing on both sides can manifest into unbecoming and irrational counter or supportive arguments. Unproductive Dispatch Record letters will inevitably follow this piece.

Three: Although most of my fellow classmates probably remember my candid expressions of opinion in school, I'm reluctant when the subject is so personal. Injecting one's own stake in an issue can feel like walking naked into Bozarth-Fowler Gym for a varsity basketball game.

However, I was never good at witnessing or taking unfair verbal punches without properly defending others or myself. I once slapped a classmate after he cussed at a pleasant, elderly substitute teacher, and I can't go to sleep tonight without responding to Michelle Malkin's panic-inducing column ["Anti- Prop. 8 crowd explodes with outrage"] last week. The size of this page won't allow me to even get started on Murchison.

Malkin introduces her column by blaming the unjust media for characterizing all proponents of Prop. 8 (that would be against same-sex marriage rights) as raging, anarchic protestors. "Outbreaks of incivility (some real, but mostly imagined) were proof positive of the extremist takeover of the Republican Party," she writes. Only the most zealous hypocrite would then proceed to frame her one-sided article around, what else? Outbreaks of incivility (some real, but mostly imagined). Her piece drools of sad and sweeping generalizations about who is objecting to the ballot initiative's results and how. Alliterate labels such as the "same-sex marriage mob" induce a hilarious image of a bad 1950s horror film. Tagline? Witness the gore and brutality of an evil gay-zombie apocalypse! They're here! They're queer! They'll gnaw on your right-wing ear! (And then they'll give you a makeover!)

Malkin is too busy painting a crime scene of rainbows to talk about how the majority of gays, their friends and their families have reacted after the right to be legally recognized as a committed couple was retracted.

I live in New York, so many people tell me I shouldn't care about what occurred in California. But I will tell you, it affects me deeply. The only way I can attempt to describe my feeling when I realized that discrimination had won out all over the country is to compare its emotional pain to a miscarriage. It may sound extreme to someone who does not understand, but it is no exaggeration. There was this ember of a future life -- my life. My family's life. In June when marriage was legalized for same-sex couples, I felt pregnant with hope and possibility to be treated equally in the eyes of the law, and to provide that structure so desperately needed for a family unit (be it a typical or less common genre of family). And then that ember was effectively smothered when minority rights were put to a majority vote.

In response, four other college students and I miraculously put together a 10,000-person peaceful rally at City Hall Park in Manhattan. Truthfully, it was my first protest to ever attend, and it has been the most encouraging experience of my life. Prominent speakers and ordinary citizens from all walks of life congregated, not so much to rebel against the sad outcome on Nov. 4, but to celebrate the resilience and spirit of equality-minded souls. Straight couples came out in droves with signs like "Everyone deserves a wife/husband like mine." Our rally was forward-looking and all-inclusive (including those of faith). We had the support of a black, straight civil-rights leader who marched with Dr. King. Kate Shindle -- a former Miss America who is straight, Catholic and "conservative on most issues" -- stood on stage and embraced our cause. A minister provided an invocation, and the Gay Men's Chorus sang the national anthem.

I listened to the personal stories of couples who have been together for 30 years and thought they'd never see the day when they could sign a marriage license together.

Michelle Malkin, we're not trying to force individuals to agree with something they don't understand. This isn't about taking away straight couples' right to marriage or about forcing churches to perform samesex ceremonies. It was never about that, and if you've heard differently then you've heard from someone not speaking for our community. But please don't take away what few civil liberties we've sweated so hard to secure.

There are plenty of people who I believe had no business getting married, but who am I to say they should be legally prohibited from it? And don't misrepresent and then scold peaceful and positive demonstration. Calling our struggle to gain equality as the effort of "sore losers" is a great insult to the Constitution and all previous civil-rights movements -- including the one that granted you, a woman, the right to vote.

And just what is wrong with withholding our business from companies whose values counter ours and supporting ones with whom our beliefs align? In the American free-market system, demand isn't always dictated by whose product is the cheapest or most efficient; Americans care about the corporate culture of who they give money to. Many Christians choose Chick-Fil-A over other fast-food establishments because the company requires all franchisees to honor the Sabbath. And it was the owner, not the manager, of a restaurant located in the gay district of Los Angeles who is rightfully losing business over her donation to "Yes on 8." If she lives off the employment and purchases of local gays and gay-friendly allies, then she better be prepared to deal with the consequences of an act opposing equal rights for gays. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen.

There are those against same-sex marriage who will never be swayed. But there are also those who are against same-sex marriage right now because they haven't heard all sides of the argument, or they don't know anyone who is openly homosexual. I realize it can be difficult to sympathize with a cause when you can't associate that injustice to anyone with whom you have a relationship. These are the people I'm reaching out to.

If you have any questions about why you don't have to be gay in order to vote for our equality, please email me at the address below. And the people who question the impact of demonstration fail to realize it is demonstration that questions the impact of the people. It isn't the protest that changes the world. The protest encourages the protestors to go out and change the world -- even if it is one person, one letter, one email at a time.

Carrie Harrington Harrington.carrie@gmail.com

Brooklyn, New York