A youngster in the family
Lisa Carnley

Lisa Carnley is managing editor of the Lampasas Dispatch Record.

I became a grandma last week. Not in the traditional way -- but, nonetheless, I now have a grandson. He is 3 years old.

Let's just get this out of the way. My son, Jason, didn't know he had a son until the child's mother decided to tell him. We're not sure why she waited so long, but that's how things happen sometimes.

Jason is 27. He knows how badly I have wanted to be a grandma. But he also knows I wanted him to get his college degree, get a job, get married and then have children.

Well, three out of four isn't bad.

He earned two college degrees and is a teacher and coach in Fort Worth. I am very proud of what Jason has accomplished. A handicap has made his path much more difficult than for many others, but he hasn't let anything stand in his way, and he has excelled.

But what a shock for him to find out he is the father of a toddler, when he didn't even know the ex-girlfriend was expecting.

I believe Jason will be a good father. Children have always been a big part of his life through working with special-needs youths in camps for many years. Jason has a way with children. And he will have a way with this one, too.

It has been a surreal experience to learn about this grandchild, and even though I would rather my son have gone the traditional route, there's not a lot that can be done about that now.

There is a 3-year-old involved -- Landon. A little boy who has a right to know his father, his "other" grandparents and two sets of great-grandparents, all who are eager to meet him, along with assorted aunts, uncles and cousins.

What a joy it will be to have a youngster in the family again. I am realistic in my expectations. I know it will not be an easy transition, especially for Landon. He doesn't know any of us; we are all strangers to him, including his father.

I think we feel a sense of being cheated out of time with Landon, and we have experienced anger toward the mother who made the decision not to tell anyone else about her son.

But the anger has got to give way to acceptance of the way things are and that the past cannot be changed.

The future, that is where my concentration will be. I look at the face of my new grandson, and I just can't believe he is ours. I already have several framed pictures, sent courtesy of Landon's uncle. I find myself looking at the child and smiling.

I have quickly and unwittingly fallen into the grandparent trap -- pulling out stacks of pictures to share with interested (and uninterested, but too polite to say no) folks who just must share in my enthusiasm, because who could disagree that Landon is the cutest thing.

Child support payments, visitation, legal documents, medical insurance, joint conservators -- all legal mumbo-jumbo that translates into one little boy who has a host of other family members just waiting to love him.

While Landon didn't come into our lives in the traditional sense, we love him already, and we don't really care about his past.

My son says I am just infatuated. And he's right. But I'm definitely in love. How can you not love something that is a part of your child?

While I plan to enjoy Landon's childhood, I can't wait to see the type of man he grows into. If he is anything like his father, he will make us all very proud.

Life is good.